BENDER ON BENDER
| My name’s Detective Sargeant Ray Bender, that’s my full name….the one I was christened with. I guess my parents knew something I didn’t, although it didn’t take long before I did know it…..and as soon as I knew it, then the kids in my playgroup knew it an’ all. Day one I’ve got three of ‘em up against the edge of the climbing frame suspected of being in possession of a firearm…turned out it was a Curly Wurly, easy mistake to make….ask anyone in the Met. Anyway, my name’s Det Sgt Bender, but you can call me Bender. I was brought up in a force that knew how to get the job done. Modern policing’s all very well, but if you have to fill out a mountain of paperwork every time you maim someone in the line of duty you’re not doin’ anyone any favours. I was brought up in a force where a copper could cause death by reckless endangerment and ask questions afterwards. We need to get back to a society where people feel safe in their homes, where decent law abiding people can walk the streets without fear of being set about by beggars or young single mums. |
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A society where a decent hardworking copper can have a jar or seven with his snitch, drive home (with an ‘incident’ or two en route), bag a couple of brasses to make the long night pass more easy, and still be back at his desk by 10 or 11 with a bacon sarnie and a cup of sweet tea. I’m based up in Padbury in Yorkshire. Don’t ask. Well, do ask but I’m gonna stare off into the middle distance and look inscrutable for a minute or two then say something like ‘see Palace won last night then…..’ There’s only two things you need to know about it. 1. Never let off an unlicensed handgun unless you’re absolutely convinced that what you’ve seen is a hardened criminal brandishing a sawnoff. 2. Fare dodging is a minor offence and rarely (if ever) warrants the use of an armed response. 3. Being ‘judgement impaired’ through excessive consumption of alcohol is no defence against a charge of manslaughter. |